breastfeeding / day six

(if you couldn't tell. i love her. and this movie)

so breastfeeding. something i think people are super shy and awkward about if it doesn't involve you. 

let's be honest here. it's something i knew i wanted to do, and had no shame in that. however. i had a completely different opinion about it before baby girl came around. 

for instance. 

nursing in public. 

i always figured that it was easier to schedule you're day around your baby and when they needed to eat. because obviously, any good mother could do that. and obviously because it's that easy. 

moms are laughing right now at me, as they should be. 

this was a nice thought, but it's totally wrong. 

because 1) baby could be cluster feeding which means lots of feedings super close together. like every hour. and 2) if baby eats every two hours (or so) you have a very small window to get things done. 

and honestly. cabin fever sets in quick. 

so my thoughts on not breastfeeding in public because it made me feel weird have gone right out the window. 

now. i am not one of those women who are (or ever will be) comfortable pulling out a boob for all to see. in fact, it's quite the set up trying to nurse in public (i've done it a couple times now) because i use about four blankets to cover up.

yes. i know they make nursing covers. they're at target and i keep forgetting them. it's on my list. 

anyways. the point is, that you have to let go of any preconceived notions you had about breastfeeding. 

the good and the bad. 

here are eight things you need to know about breastfeeding. 

#1. it hurts like hell at first. 

seriously. like someone is sticking a thousand needles into your nipple. but it goes away. or at least should. if you've got things all going the way they should. 

#2. the boopy is a life saver. 

your life will just be easier with this pillow. i promise you that. it's really important to make sure baby is coming to you when nursing. you shouldn't be hunched over or trying to strain yourself to get the connection. this pillow helps immensely with that. 

#3. ask for help!

do not, and i repeat. do not leave the hospital without getting a lactation consult. the nurse who gave me mine was such a huge help.

#4. nipple shields are not the devil. 

baby girl and i had some trouble in the latching department right off the bat so they suggested i use a nipple shield. the problem was that she wasn't latching on enough...causing that pain i mentioned to last the entire time i nursed. which was awful, and made me want to give up. but insert this little helper. 

(medela contact nipple shield) 

get the one that's half open. it's supposed to help with milk production because the baby's chin is still touching the breast. 

i'd also like to take this time to debunk the "the baby will get nipple confusion if you use this!" rumor. my child knows where the milk comes from. and i don't think it would matter if i had a funnel on my boob, she'd still eat from it. 

#5. get a good pump.

i don't know what would happen if you got a bad one. but invest. i don't pump a lot yet, but i did get one of the top ones through our insurance. which call them because apparently now they're covered, which is so wonderful! 

(medela breast pump)

#6. start a good netflix show.

sweet baby girl eats now every two to three hours, and nurses about twenty minutes on each side every feeding. that's a good forty minutes i've got...to just sit. so of course i turned to netflix. i'm watching gossip girl for the first time. 

#7. get an app.

this has made my life so much easier, and hello it's 2015. take advantage of technology. i have the BabyNursing app. the app lets you time each side you nurse on, and keeps track of everything for you. there's no guessing when baby ate last (because who has the brain space to remember anything right now), or which side you nursed on last. 

(actual picture of my app) 

#8. it's ok to bottle feed your baby instead. 

there is absolutely nothing wrong with bottle feeding your baby instead of breastfeeding. there so much that surrounds breastfeeding these days, and to be honest, i don't think it's helpful to moms that can't or choose not to breastfeed. because it's ok not to. your baby is going to grow up just as healthy and wonderful as a breastfed baby. and for those of you who think it's terrible to bottle feed and not breastfeed. quit being a bully to new moms. we all need to support each other. 

if you're a mama and have any tips please share! 

sleep / day four

if there's one thing i can be absolutely certain on right now, it's that mothers get magical powers the minute they give birth.

one of these powers is the ability to live life on the smallest number of hours of sleep. 

it's completely true what they say: you'll never sleep the same again. 

life with a newborn is hard but the hardest part is easily the lack of sleep. 

and here's a tip: do not be fooled by these little tricksters in the first few days. all they do is sleep. going through birth is a serious time for them too. but that wears off. so don't think you have the greatest newborn because of how much they sleep the first week you bring them home. 

we thought that. 

week two was toooootally different. 

baby girl eats about every two hours, which means little sleep in between feedings. 

i can't stress the sleep when they sleep enough. there will be plenty of time in the future to clean the house and do the laundry. for now, get someone else to do it.

you can never start a bed time routine early enough. sure its a bit harder when babies sleep so much, but it's important to have some sort of routine.

and again, this benefits mom and dad in the long run.

newborns are hard. and i know what you're thinking, "i just love my sleep."
which i do too.

but i love her more.

write 31 days.

i've done the whole #write31days before and failed at it big time. so it's actually comical that i'm giving it another go but with a newborn.

the thing is, i love to write. always have always will.
majored in english in college...not doing much with that, but who cares.
i love it. and to be honest i miss it a lot.

blogging has always been something special to me because no matter how many people read (or lets be honest, don't read) what i write, i'm fine with it because i'm just writing.

so i'm joining in on the challenge.

my topic: life with a newborn.

i know what you're thinking.
"megan. you've only had a new born for a like 35 days. what could you possibly know about it?"

truthfully. i know nothing. i'm making this all up as i go. but that's being a parent right? there's no manual.

but somehow next to me right now on a notebook are 31 things for me to write about. so there.

i'm actually pretty excited about this.

so here's to writing everyday for the next month.
or skipping some days and giving myself some grace.

also. for the next 31 days please enjoy pictures of my cute baby girl)

emily mae's birth story | part 2

if you missed part one you can catch it here.

but the short version: i labored in a triage room for 3 hours due to a misplacement of a monitor and then my water broke when they placed it in the right spot.

at this point in the night all i could think of was getting the good stuff.
that epidural.

was it part of my birth plan to get one? nope.
but let me just tell you. it's painful giving birth. and laboring.

i had gone in with the mindset that i'd wait to see how much i could take. i had taken all i could. i needed the drugs.

i had terrible thoughts that i was too far into labor because of the little mishap to get one, so all i remember is asking when i could get the epidural. to which the kind nurses reassured me that i was still ok to get one and as soon as i got up to the labor room i'd get one.

with no drugs yet, and my water broken, i somehow got out of that tiny bed and onto a wheel chair. and we were off!

we did pass our families in the waiting area on the way to the elevators and i remember passing them, and couldn't even muster up a smile. they would of course all tell me later that i didn't look too hot. but they were all smiles and waves.

up we went, taking what felt like the longest route possible to the room. i'm sure it was only 5 minutes but to me it felt like an hour.

once we arrived our incredible nurse shelly came in and introduced herself to us and made me smile and laugh, and i loved her instantly. i think she said the magic words that the epidural was on the way. which it was.

soon after the anesthesiologist came in. like an angel from heaven.
i had to go through a couple other contractions before she was able to pump me up. but once it happened i think i remember one more contraction and then absolute bliss.

(baby girl was on her way and mommy was doing really good at this point)

here's the thing. women who go with out the epidural are crazy with a capital c. and i mean that in the most respectful way. like my mom. freak of natures. super humans even. i honestly applaud you women because i couldn't do it.
here's another thing. it's totally ok to get the drugs. i remember thinking at one point that i wasn't even at the hardest part and i was exhausted. labor is the real deal. but what comes next before you get to hold your little bundle of joy is the seriously real deal. so if you do get an epidural. rock on sister.

by this time it was around 11:30, and to my very fuzzy memory my family came in to visit. i don't really remember them coming in, except for the fact that my older sister brought in a stuffed moose for the baby that ended up being the best gift ever. it was the best pillow during labor. you'll see it in some pictures.

i had this whole plan to try and get up and move around during labor and maybe shower (because it was the biggest nicest tub ever) and all of that went right out the window. for the next two hours we just hung out. and said probably 100 times, "oh my gosh the baby is coming". sonny kept our family and friends up to date with what was going on.

around 1:30 our amazing nurse shelly said it was time to start pushing. she did give me the warning that it would take a little while, so i prepared myself as much as i could mentally for the long haul. because to be honest i thought that once i started pushing baby would be here quickly.

(for reals pushing through a contraction right here)

i was totally wrong.

an hour went by and it felt like someone was perfectly content not coming out. at one point shelly had said she was a little worried that my pelvic bones weren't far enough apart and that could be causing the baby to not move a ton, despite all my pushing.
finally, after an hour and a half, little missy started to crown, which was when our doctor came in.

and when they brought the mirror in.

when they asked if i wanted one i said no at first because hello. that's a sight you won't ever forget.
but i'm so glad sonny was there to say, "yea get it, you want to see this".

first of all, it was some serious motivation for me. i could literally see her coming.
it also was one of the most amazing things ever.
there i was. birthing a child. i was doing it.

another half hour went by and baby girl still wasn't progressing as much as (what i assume) she should have. which is when the doctor said we needed to start talking some other options. turns out she was coming out face up, which isn't normal. also makes it so much harder to get out.
he mentioned that if things didn't progress we'd have to start talking c-section or a vacuum. one thing i knew i wasn't going to let happen was that vacuum. that was one part of my plan i was sticking too. he then mentioned the e word.

episiotomy.

another thirty minutes went by and he mentioned the e word again but said that my birth plan had specifically said no to it. i asked if it would help at this point to get her out.
he immediately responded with yes.
i told him that he was the medical professional and at this point, if he needed to cut me up to my throat to get her out, i was ok with it. i had started to hit my limit. my serious "i can't do this limit". i had been pushing for two and a half hours and could feel my body telling me "i've had enough".
and so the episiotomy happened and two (easy) pushes later baby girl made her entrance into the world.

i can't even try and describe the feelings that happen when you hear that first cry from your child.
i kept saying, almost yelling, "what is it? what is it?" and finally looked at sonny who beamed back at me, "it's a girl!"

hearing him tell me we had a daughter was one of the greatest moments of my life. and here's why i'll advocate till i'm blue in the face that it's so much better not to find out what you're having. it's the best surprise you'll ever have.

(holding my baby girl for the first time)

one of the other amazing nurses grabbed sonnys phone and snapped a couple pictures while emily was coming out (which i'll spare you) and then got this sweet moment that i am so thankful to have. 

God heard our prayers for a healthy delivery and we are so grateful. emily is perfect in every way. 

baby buckeye. 

giving birth is no joke. it's hard and the most painful thing i've ever gone through. 

but hello. it's totally worth it. 

emmy girl, i love you so much already. 

emily mae's birth story | part 1

to try and put all the emotions of giving birth into a blog post is pretty much impossible. because from start to finish it's the craziest, most exciting, terrifying, painful, wonderful experience ever. but i'm going to give it my best shot.


friday morning around 4:30 i woke up to some pains in my lower abdominal and back. i thought it was just a one time thing, but when i looked at my phone for the time and saw that it had been an hour of this pain coming and going, i knew that these weren't just braxton hicks contractions. i started timing them around 5:30 and they came every 20 mins. i was able to get back to sleep about an hour later, but not for long.

i got up and made a big breakfast, still timing the contractions, still 20 minutes apart. i decided to let family and friends know that something was going on, but that it wasn't anything to be alarmed at because they were twenty minutes apart and manageable.

the day progressed and we did a whole lot of nothing. which was exactly what i needed. lots of netflix and bouncing around on the exercise ball. timing contractions.

(he was such a great labor coach)

around 5 in the afternoon i noticed that the contractions were getting much more painful. you learn a lot when you go through pregnancy and giving birth. and i think i've come to the conclusion that my tolerance for pain is at a medium. i can't hang with the big guys, but i've got two tattoos so i think that i'm kinda hard core.

i started to get weirded out because they were still not moving up in time between each contractions, but it started to get to the point where it was hard to talk through them or do anything but take big deep breaths in and out.
so i called my doctors office around 6pm and talked to the doctor that was on call (who would end up delivering little missy later that night). he advised that i get to the hospital. he said that just because they were still twenty minutes apart didn't mean that things weren't starting to happen. and that if my pain level kept going up, that was a sign that labor was in gear.

i hung up, and told sonny that the time had come and we needed to get going. but in a slow manner. and of course we needed to stop for food because at the time, mama was hungry.
we packed up the rest of our stuff for the hospital bags, took our time. i did my hair. because honestly, we thought we'd be coming back home. here's where i think my husband thinks i have a very low tolerance for pain.
when i tell you he took his sweet time to get ready...i mean he took his suuuhhhwwwweeeeeettttt time to get ready.

i called my mom and sisters letting them know that i was heading to the hospital but that i was pretty sure i'd be coming back home, and that i'd let them know as soon as we talked to the doctor what was going on.
i cried on the phone with my mom because hello. i was in labor. about to deliver my baby. and no matter how old you get, sometimes you just need to cry and freak out to your mom.

while on the phone with them i noticed that my contractions were in fact so much closer than before. when i hung up with my mom it was about 6:30 and they had moved to 7 minutes apart.

once i timed a couple of them and figured out that we were indeed in labor.
it was go time.
i tried to calmly tell sonny that they had moved much closer together and that he needed to hurry up. he still thinking that we'd be home that night didn't seem to get the pep in his step that i needed. so then i told him that we needed to go now. and dinner was out of the question.
megan passing up a meal is a big deal. he got the picture.

the twenty minute drive to the hospital was the absolute worst. ever.
and let's be super honest here.
all i could think was, "please God do NOT let me be the next lady has a baby in the car."

we finally got to the hospital around 7:30, and made our way to triage. the wait time was pretty short but at my current moment i felt like it had been an hour and i was ready to start yelling at someone.

when i got pulled back and checked out the nurse let me know that i was at 4 cm. i honestly was ready for her to tell me that i was at 21 because of the pain. but nope. only 4.
and the fun part is that now, the hospital doesn't admit you until you're 6 cm dilated.
her big idea was for me to go walk around the hospital and the parking garage for an hour to get that dilation going.
for a moment let's talk about how it had to have been 85 degrees outside.

so off we went. as soon as we were walking out, our families were walking in.
they would later tell me how miserable i looked.
i did feel terrible at the moment because they were all smiles and wanted to hug, and i was hating life.

the parking garage was a joke. the nurse tried to give us instructions on how i should put one leg up on a stair during a contraction, and hang on sonny at the same time. we tried once and i wanted to scream it was such a terrible position to be in. so there i was. pregnant megan, laboring in a parking garage. i'd also like to point out that of allllll the people who passed us, only one asked if we needed help.

come on humans.

apparently most people just kind of looked at us. and had a "that poor girl look" on their face according to sonny.

i was the poor girl. laboring. in the PARKING GARAGE.

after about thirty minutes i decided i was done. tapping out. couldn't do it. i was drenched in sweat. thirsty and my contractions had moved up yet again to about three minutes apart.
back into triage we went.

by this time it was almost nine. they strapped me back onto the machines to monitor baby's heartbeat and my contractions.

here's the best part.

an hour and a half goes by and there i was actively laboring on a triage bed. in the very small and not comforting triage room. let me tell you. that bed. not comfy. those tiny four walls. not what i had in mind.
a nurse finally comes in and tells me that i'm not "in active labor". at which i, by some miracle did not answer her with any swear words, but just asked how that was possible. i think i told her she needed to stay in the room with me for five minutes so she could indeed see that i was in labor. she decided to move the monitors on my belly around to see if that would help.

three minutes later she was back in the room saying, "yes, you're in labor, let's get you admitted".

i'd like to take this time now to thank the first nurse who was super chatty and didn't put the monitor on my belly right causing me to labor in the triage room for two hours.
bless her heart.

as soon as i sat up to be admitted my water broke.
baby girl was on her way!

and this is where i leave you hanging. part two will be up soon!

she's here.

after six hours of active labor, two being just pushing.
we met our beautiful daughter emily mae.

the words escape me when it comes to how much i love her already.

august 22, 2015
7 pounds 5 ounces.

21 inches long. 

absolute perfection. 

being a mommy is better than i expected. 

her birth story will be written soon. 

but for now i'm off to stare at her adorable face and wonder how we got so lucky. 

pregnancy books: which to read

this summer i have read more books than i have since high school.
seriously.
most of them haven't been pregnancy books, but i did find some that i absolutely loved.

also, what is it about summer and just sticking your nose in some good old fashion fiction books, that just makes sense?

anyways.

here's a list of 4 pregnancy books i read that i loved.

belly laughs by jenny mccarthy
i should note first that i'm not a giant fan of hers (we differ on a lot of opinions) but this book was awesome. she wasn't afraid to admit that sometimes pregnancy can suck (hello constipation and bloating and morning sickness...and cramps...and how you can't see your toes...i'm geting off track). it was a really quick read that i laughed the whole way through.

the sh!t no one tells you by dawn dias
once again, so funny. this is mostly about when the baby actually gets here but she throws in some pregnancy things. it's totally worth reading before the baby gets here because she points out some things that hadn't ever crossed my mind. there's also a chapter on how this is your baby, and that it's your choice on how you raise them. amen, preach sister.

what to expect when you're expecting by heidi murkoff
because this book has to go on the list.

waiting in wonder by catherine larson
by far the best. i actually saw it on my friend ashley's blog and knew i needed it. it's a week by week devotional that takes you through pregnancy. it's got four days for each week and i can't tell you how amazing they are. the Lord showed me so much through this devotional, and He showed every week when i needed Him. get this.


i know it's not a giant list of books, but to be honest, sometimes more is less. i found that the more and more i read (nine times out of ten on the internet) i would freak myself out.
so my advice. read some good books but don't get crazy about needing to know everything. remember. women have been pregnant for thousands of years. and made it without webmd.

which by the way. webmd. don't ever.

happy thursday.