in response to the internet

gracious words are like a honeycomb,

sweetness to the soul, 

and health to the body. 

provers 16:24

as a mom i look at things differently now. i think that goes without saying the day you become a parent. 

i’ve always been fully aware of the fact that my opinions don’t always go along with what’s popular. i’m a christian conservative, pro-lifer, and second amendment supporter. i fully believe in free speech, but lately i’m starting to wonder if as a society, we’re using that free speech to put way to many people down. 

as election season comes up, we get to see the real side of people. any minute of the day you can go on any social media platform and see exactly what people think about the candidates. there’s one in particular that people are reaaaaalllllly clinging to. some of it is support, but 99% of the things i’ve read about donald trump are terrible. 

i’ve seen him called an a-hole, swine, disgusting, ignorant, stupid…any name you can think of, it’s out there. i will insert here that four and eight years ago, the same things could be found about President Obama. not that i called him any of these names, but i do give myself an eye roll when a status of mine pops up on my time hop from those years when i called him a liar. not as bad, but i wasn’t helping the situation. 

and then this morning. 

a friend of mine sent me this article. 

i finished it almost in tears. 

why have we become so…mean as a society?

why can’t we just agree to disagree with one another?

why can’t we have civil conversations with each other when we agree, instead of sinking so low to name calling?

i almost don’t even know where to being with this article other than, i’m sorry for the writer. 

i’m sorry that she decided to take her opinion to the internet in such a harsh way. had she done so in a loving way, maybe the comments at the end of the article would be different. i'm also sorry she's decided to be so judgmental to a large group of new moms she doesn't know. 

instead, and how i feel like our society as a whole is anymore, she took the “i’m right, and you’re wrong” approach. 

now, this in no way shape or form is a blog about how you should or shouldn’t breastfeed your tiny one. i think it’s such a personal decision, and you’re in no way shape or form a bad mother if you don’t. and never let anyone tell you different. 

this is a blog, maybe a plea…to all of us on the internet to be nicer. 

because yes, as a mommy now, i’m thinking about my sweet baby girl growing up. and as much as i want to keep her in my little bubble her whole life, it isn’t going to happen. but i want her to grow up and not feel ashamed for her opinions. or the way she lives her life. however she chooses to do so. i don’t want her to read articles like this one on the internet and feel like complete crap if she isn’t doing what’s suggested. 

i just think at some point, we have to get back to the “treat others as you would like to be treated”. 

watch the way you talk. let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. say only what helps, each word is a gift.

ephesians 4:29 MSG

i don’t want anyone to read this and think i’m not including myself here. because maybe i don’t post it on the internet, but i don’t always have the nicest things to say about people. and yes, ten years ago i would have taken it to the internet. but maybe i can thank age, and a tiny bit of maturity for it. 

maybe that’s what everyone needs. to grow up. and stop being so judgmental of each other.

and not think that their opinion is the absolute best one out there. 

i don’t want Emily, or any other child to grow up in a society where it’s all one sided and heaven forbid they have an opposing opinion. about anything. 

not to sounds super cheesy and cliche, but can’t we all just love on each other. no matter how different our opinions are? it’s taken me a couple years to get here, but i’m realizing that if instead of tearing each other down, building someone up is not only easier…but it makes you feel much better. 

to the writer of that blog: we new moms need each other. badly. this is really, really hard. maybe instead of making some moms feel like garbage for not doing something you did, you build them up for what they have done. lots of babies have been bottle fed from day one for any number of reasons, and they’re perfectly healthy. 

to the people on Facebook: maybe we can come up with better ways to say “you’re an idiot”. disagree all you want, have an opinion. but let’s stop with the name calling. there’s a line that your slumping down to. and you aren’t proving your point at all. 

maybe we all just need to gather around a campfire, roast some marshmallows, and sing kumbaya. 

emily mae // 4 months

15 pounds

26 1/2 inches long

-baby girl loves her sleep! she sleeps at least ten hours every night. most nights it's twelve. hallelujah, thank you Jesus. 

-such a talker! who knows what she's thinking but she makes the cutest noises when she's talking

-loves football. i'm not sure what we'll do when it's not on tv anymore

-almost ready to roll over!

-eats 8 oz every 2-4 hours. just depends how our day goes

-grabs at everythiiiing. and anything. blankets, toys, my clothes, necklaces. you name it, she grabs it. 

-drool machine. those teeth are coming. everything she grabs she puts into her mouth. she chews and chews. we found the most amazing teething toy that's got these little finger things on them, and she loves it! 

-kicks her feet so much. i have no idea if this is normal. but i have a feeling when home girl gets up to walk she's going to run.

the obligatory goals post

so here we are.
2016.
whoa.

how this happened, i'm not sure. i still feel like emily was just born last week. but nope. she's been here for four months.
i've done a stellar job at monthly baby posts too. 

all of december flew by. it didn't help that em and i got the worst cold right before christmas that's still sorta lingering around. i don't feel like i got a fair chance with her first christmas. but that's for another time.

what i was confident in when greeting january this year, was the fact that i wasn't doing the goal thing. everyone was posting them like crazy on social media and blogs, and as i sat and applauded you all, i just wasn't into.

because i've done the goal thing and every year i don't do any of them.

seriously.

ok maybe like one or two.
but last time i checked, i'm still not doing yoga every day, reading the whole bible, or running that 5k. ok so the last one was never a goal of mine. me, a 5k? please.

so i just decided not to.

i got the power sheets from the ever amazing lara casey last year and they just didn't work for me. maybe i didn't use them right. it was just too much. they are however, for some people. there are women all over the country that love them. look her up, find a hashtag and you'll see. they change the way people look at their year. but for me. it just wasn't my cup of tea.

and that's ok.

it's ok to look at the up coming year and go, "i've got 365 days to do great things. maybe i won't write them all down this year and get hung up if i don't get them all done." because that's what i've done.

i get all "i suck at life" because i didn't check all the things off my lists.

so this year i decided not to.

until tonight.

my sweet friend gennean made this amazing and SO simple goals sheet. i loved it the second i saw it. it's so simple and to the point. i skipped some of it, because i'm a rebel. but i made what she came up with work for me, no strings attached.

i think in the past i've been worried that people will know what i got done and what i didn't. which is ridiculous. because despite what i might think, no one is going back and reading my blogs in a year to see what i got done and what i didn't.

so i came up with a bucket list for 2016 (on the goals sheet). it was a quick list i made up. no pressure to get any or all of them done. there's personal goals on there along with business ones along with family ones.

i think goals are amazing. but i do feel like we might be putting a tad too much pressure on ourselves to get them all done in a year.

we might be missing out on some amazing things because we're too busy working on that goal.

now, don't get me wrong. i'm not saying be a bum all year.
and that goals are terrible.
they aren't.

but if the conventional way of setting goals just isn't your jam, like me. then do things differently this year. be that fish swimming up stream. or is it down, when they're all going up?
whatever.

you do you, girl!

here's to 2016. to goals. or not.

a letter to my growing girl

dear baby girl,

you're growing so much! i can't believe how every day you're doing something new. like today when you took the pacifier out of my hand and put it *near* your mouth. it was a little wobbly. but you did it!

and yesterday, when you pretty much rolled over to your side.

and how when you wake up, you get up on your elbows when i come in the room.

watching you grow is and has been my most favorite thing. it's truly a blessing to be your mommy and be here for it all.

let's just work on those first words being "mama", i think it's only fair at this point.

but i'm going to need you to slow down. because soon you'll be four months and before i know it you'll be driving a car and off to college.
i can't.

you amaze me every day with the new things you do. and i still think to myself that i can't believe you're here. that i get to see you grow every day.

i'm sad you just keep growing because i want to keep you an ity bity forever. but i just love watching you grow.

love you to the moon and back, 

mommy

sweet family pictures

i do not know how photographers get wonderful pictures with their families.

there.
i said it.

it's almost like the breastfeeding for so long. rock on mama. but i can't.

i took em's newborn pictures, where i wrapped her up and put her in cute outfits and all that. but when it came to get pictures of me and sonny with her, it was like i'd never taken a photo before. all my artisticness went out the window.

we tried.

three times.

everyone, especially mommy, ended in tears.

so, i asked my friend lizzie (who also took our maternity pictures) to come snap some of our little babe and us.

and oh my gosh.

i honestly couldn't love them more.

i can't even.
just look for yourself.

so many thanks to lizzie (lizzie randazzo photography) for doing these for us!

#finish2015well

i'm a goal setter. this time last year i was making my goals list for 2015.

figuring out what i wanted to accomplish personally, and with my business.

and then i got pregnant.

and all those goals honestly went right out the window. and by some miracle, i haven't freaked out about it once.
nope, not once. not even as i sit here thinking about alllll the things i wanted to get done this year.

i swear.

i made peace a few months back that this year, 2015 was looking much different than i had intended it to. and i couldn't be happier about it. as i sit here i'm trying to remember what notebook i joted down my goals so i can go look through them. but i'm also happy i don't remember which one. because i don't want to get down on myself.

it's really ok that things didn't get done this year.

i think it's also a perspective thing too.

because some might say i got a lot done this year.
housed and birthed a human.

yea.

that's a lot.

i'm starting to think about my goals for 2016 and this time around their more family oriented. duh.
but i'm thinking about what i can do with emily. how she'll grow. what we'll do as a family.
sure i have some things for my business i want to do. but i'm not stressing about the up coming year like i usually do.

sometimes it freaks me out that i have so much time to get things done.
because then what happens if i don't get it all done. have i wasted all that time?

so not this year.

in fact. my dear friend ashley posted on her instagram about choosing to finish 2015 well. preach on sister.
instead of looking at the calendar and realizing i have a whole list of goals for 2015 that didn't get done, and trying to rush through them. i'm choosing to just finish this year well.

to do things that i might have on a goals list, or don't. to have that party or don't. to go on that trip, or don't.
to let the pressure of doing it all go.

it's been an incredible year so far.
by far my best ;)

so i'm letting go of the expectations to get it all done.

here's to #finish2015well

a love letter

dear baby daddy,

i want you to know how much i love you.
i know it seems silly to say at this point, but without you i wouldn't have anything that i have right now.
and i'm not just talking about the big obvious things, like emily.

i'm talking about the happiness i have.
the love i have.
the most amazing life i get to live.

you do more for em and i than i could have ever imagined and she's only two months old. which if i can be honest, you've basically set your self up for us to expect you to always knock it out of the park. on everything. no pressure.

i can't tell you how much i enjoy watching you with our baby girl. you're sweet and defiantly silly. i'm glad one of us has really taken to the baby talk.
you're gentle with her in every way possible. and hearing you tell her how beautiful she is every day melts my heart.

i know the last two months haven't been easy with me. i blame the hormones. or lack of them. or whatever they're doing at this point. but you've been a champ with me. on days that i should have been locked away in a straight jacket, you asked what you can do to help.

i'd honestly be lost without you at this point.

although i don't act like it or say it enough, i'm beyond thankful to have the privilege of being a stay at home mommy.
almost daily i read an article, or see a tweet, or even see a friend who doesn't have the same chance. and i wouldn't have that if you weren't the amazingly hard working person you are.
so thank you.

at this point. thank you for everything.