Friday, September 25, 2015

emily mae's birth story | part 2

if you missed part one you can catch it here.

but the short version: i labored in a triage room for 3 hours due to a misplacement of a monitor and then my water broke when they placed it in the right spot.

at this point in the night all i could think of was getting the good stuff.
that epidural.

was it part of my birth plan to get one? nope.
but let me just tell you. it's painful giving birth. and laboring.

i had gone in with the mindset that i'd wait to see how much i could take. i had taken all i could. i needed the drugs.

i had terrible thoughts that i was too far into labor because of the little mishap to get one, so all i remember is asking when i could get the epidural. to which the kind nurses reassured me that i was still ok to get one and as soon as i got up to the labor room i'd get one.

with no drugs yet, and my water broken, i somehow got out of that tiny bed and onto a wheel chair. and we were off!

we did pass our families in the waiting area on the way to the elevators and i remember passing them, and couldn't even muster up a smile. they would of course all tell me later that i didn't look too hot. but they were all smiles and waves.

up we went, taking what felt like the longest route possible to the room. i'm sure it was only 5 minutes but to me it felt like an hour.

once we arrived our incredible nurse shelly came in and introduced herself to us and made me smile and laugh, and i loved her instantly. i think she said the magic words that the epidural was on the way. which it was.

soon after the anesthesiologist came in. like an angel from heaven.
i had to go through a couple other contractions before she was able to pump me up. but once it happened i think i remember one more contraction and then absolute bliss.

(baby girl was on her way and mommy was doing really good at this point)

here's the thing. women who go with out the epidural are crazy with a capital c. and i mean that in the most respectful way. like my mom. freak of natures. super humans even. i honestly applaud you women because i couldn't do it.
here's another thing. it's totally ok to get the drugs. i remember thinking at one point that i wasn't even at the hardest part and i was exhausted. labor is the real deal. but what comes next before you get to hold your little bundle of joy is the seriously real deal. so if you do get an epidural. rock on sister.

by this time it was around 11:30, and to my very fuzzy memory my family came in to visit. i don't really remember them coming in, except for the fact that my older sister brought in a stuffed moose for the baby that ended up being the best gift ever. it was the best pillow during labor. you'll see it in some pictures.

i had this whole plan to try and get up and move around during labor and maybe shower (because it was the biggest nicest tub ever) and all of that went right out the window. for the next two hours we just hung out. and said probably 100 times, "oh my gosh the baby is coming". sonny kept our family and friends up to date with what was going on.

around 1:30 our amazing nurse shelly said it was time to start pushing. she did give me the warning that it would take a little while, so i prepared myself as much as i could mentally for the long haul. because to be honest i thought that once i started pushing baby would be here quickly.

(for reals pushing through a contraction right here)

i was totally wrong.

an hour went by and it felt like someone was perfectly content not coming out. at one point shelly had said she was a little worried that my pelvic bones weren't far enough apart and that could be causing the baby to not move a ton, despite all my pushing.
finally, after an hour and a half, little missy started to crown, which was when our doctor came in.

and when they brought the mirror in.

when they asked if i wanted one i said no at first because hello. that's a sight you won't ever forget.
but i'm so glad sonny was there to say, "yea get it, you want to see this".

first of all, it was some serious motivation for me. i could literally see her coming.
it also was one of the most amazing things ever.
there i was. birthing a child. i was doing it.

another half hour went by and baby girl still wasn't progressing as much as (what i assume) she should have. which is when the doctor said we needed to start talking some other options. turns out she was coming out face up, which isn't normal. also makes it so much harder to get out.
he mentioned that if things didn't progress we'd have to start talking c-section or a vacuum. one thing i knew i wasn't going to let happen was that vacuum. that was one part of my plan i was sticking too. he then mentioned the e word.


another thirty minutes went by and he mentioned the e word again but said that my birth plan had specifically said no to it. i asked if it would help at this point to get her out.
he immediately responded with yes.
i told him that he was the medical professional and at this point, if he needed to cut me up to my throat to get her out, i was ok with it. i had started to hit my limit. my serious "i can't do this limit". i had been pushing for two and a half hours and could feel my body telling me "i've had enough".
and so the episiotomy happened and two (easy) pushes later baby girl made her entrance into the world.

i can't even try and describe the feelings that happen when you hear that first cry from your child.
i kept saying, almost yelling, "what is it? what is it?" and finally looked at sonny who beamed back at me, "it's a girl!"

hearing him tell me we had a daughter was one of the greatest moments of my life. and here's why i'll advocate till i'm blue in the face that it's so much better not to find out what you're having. it's the best surprise you'll ever have.

(holding my baby girl for the first time)

one of the other amazing nurses grabbed sonnys phone and snapped a couple pictures while emily was coming out (which i'll spare you) and then got this sweet moment that i am so thankful to have. 

God heard our prayers for a healthy delivery and we are so grateful. emily is perfect in every way. 

baby buckeye. 

giving birth is no joke. it's hard and the most painful thing i've ever gone through. 
but hello. it's totally worth it. 
emmy girl, i love you so much already. 

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