#finish2015well

i'm a goal setter. this time last year i was making my goals list for 2015.

figuring out what i wanted to accomplish personally, and with my business.

and then i got pregnant.

and all those goals honestly went right out the window. and by some miracle, i haven't freaked out about it once.
nope, not once. not even as i sit here thinking about alllll the things i wanted to get done this year.

i swear.

i made peace a few months back that this year, 2015 was looking much different than i had intended it to. and i couldn't be happier about it. as i sit here i'm trying to remember what notebook i joted down my goals so i can go look through them. but i'm also happy i don't remember which one. because i don't want to get down on myself.

it's really ok that things didn't get done this year.

i think it's also a perspective thing too.

because some might say i got a lot done this year.
housed and birthed a human.

yea.

that's a lot.

i'm starting to think about my goals for 2016 and this time around their more family oriented. duh.
but i'm thinking about what i can do with emily. how she'll grow. what we'll do as a family.
sure i have some things for my business i want to do. but i'm not stressing about the up coming year like i usually do.

sometimes it freaks me out that i have so much time to get things done.
because then what happens if i don't get it all done. have i wasted all that time?

so not this year.

in fact. my dear friend ashley posted on her instagram about choosing to finish 2015 well. preach on sister.
instead of looking at the calendar and realizing i have a whole list of goals for 2015 that didn't get done, and trying to rush through them. i'm choosing to just finish this year well.

to do things that i might have on a goals list, or don't. to have that party or don't. to go on that trip, or don't.
to let the pressure of doing it all go.

it's been an incredible year so far.
by far my best ;)

so i'm letting go of the expectations to get it all done.

here's to #finish2015well

a love letter

dear baby daddy,

i want you to know how much i love you.
i know it seems silly to say at this point, but without you i wouldn't have anything that i have right now.
and i'm not just talking about the big obvious things, like emily.

i'm talking about the happiness i have.
the love i have.
the most amazing life i get to live.

you do more for em and i than i could have ever imagined and she's only two months old. which if i can be honest, you've basically set your self up for us to expect you to always knock it out of the park. on everything. no pressure.

i can't tell you how much i enjoy watching you with our baby girl. you're sweet and defiantly silly. i'm glad one of us has really taken to the baby talk.
you're gentle with her in every way possible. and hearing you tell her how beautiful she is every day melts my heart.

i know the last two months haven't been easy with me. i blame the hormones. or lack of them. or whatever they're doing at this point. but you've been a champ with me. on days that i should have been locked away in a straight jacket, you asked what you can do to help.

i'd honestly be lost without you at this point.

although i don't act like it or say it enough, i'm beyond thankful to have the privilege of being a stay at home mommy.
almost daily i read an article, or see a tweet, or even see a friend who doesn't have the same chance. and i wouldn't have that if you weren't the amazingly hard working person you are.
so thank you.

at this point. thank you for everything.

boasting in weakness

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

my mornings do not start the way they used to. 
life was super quiet back then. i'd make coffee, sit down with my bible and journal, usually in the living room. sip my coffee slowly. take my time. because that's what i had a lot of.

these days.
not so much. 

i'm usually jumping up out of bed to the tiniest sound emily makes. seriously. she takes a deep sigh and i'm up. but i can usually tell when she's up, or just moving around. 

lately she's been in a super amazing mood when she wakes up, which is the best. ever. 
but before. 
she used to wake up screaming to eat. 

which as you can imagine makes me feel like a chicken with my head cut off, running around the house finding nipple shields, and boppy pillows. 

so my sweet and slow morning routine has been long gone. 

which also meant my time with the Lord has been long gone. 
truthfully. 

and can we just talk for a minute about how crabby one gets when she doesn't have some time with the Lord. i heard someone once say that one day with out quiet time with the Lord and i can tell. anything more and others can tell. 
and holy crap is that true. 

i have to really, really make time for the Lord these days. 
which as sad as that makes me. also makes me happy. 

because i don't think we're supposed to take a lackadaisical approach to our relationship with God. 

i was searching through the she reads truth app and found a series called, "Open Your Bible". 
lolz at God for that one. 

i of course started it. 

the other day this passage from 2 corinthians popped up and i was raising my hands "amening" the Lord. 

being a parent is hard and has me all full of weakness. not just the lack of sleep. but the lack of patience. the frustration when I just don't know what to do. the constant worrying. 

to be honest I haven't put spending time with God at the top of my priority list lately, and I think it's starting to show. this morning baby girl slept and kept on sleeping as I started to read the Word. I kept waiting for her to wake up but it was almost like God said, "nope it's just Me and you right now." 

I read the verse and gently felt the Lord tell me that all the weakness I have is ok. it's ok I have no idea what I'm doing, it's ok to loose it once in a while...as long as I know that He is made perfect. that He is the One in charge. grace is a beautiful thing and I see it more and more every day as a parent. I'm boasting about my weakness as a parent today because He is perfect.

(part of this post was taken from my instagram feed) 

emily mae // 2 months

#adorbs

-loves to chew on her hands which freaks mommy out. 

-such a great sleeper! i honestly thank the Lord for her sleeping so much at night. very few nights does she not make it at least 6 hours. it might be the bottle of formula we give her at night, it might just be because she's our kid and we love sleep. who knows. 

-eats SO much. i feel like we're constantly upping her intake. such a growing girl!

-smiles back at us. it's the best feeling in the world

-focusing more on objects far away, which is so cool to see.

-in 3 month clothes already. and growing out of the 3 month jammies. she's just so long!

-i call her my little ten pound bowling ball now.

you're the sweetest thing every, Emmy Mae.