boasting in weakness

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

my mornings do not start the way they used to. 
life was super quiet back then. i'd make coffee, sit down with my bible and journal, usually in the living room. sip my coffee slowly. take my time. because that's what i had a lot of.

these days.
not so much. 

i'm usually jumping up out of bed to the tiniest sound emily makes. seriously. she takes a deep sigh and i'm up. but i can usually tell when she's up, or just moving around. 

lately she's been in a super amazing mood when she wakes up, which is the best. ever. 
but before. 
she used to wake up screaming to eat. 

which as you can imagine makes me feel like a chicken with my head cut off, running around the house finding nipple shields, and boppy pillows. 

so my sweet and slow morning routine has been long gone. 

which also meant my time with the Lord has been long gone. 
truthfully. 

and can we just talk for a minute about how crabby one gets when she doesn't have some time with the Lord. i heard someone once say that one day with out quiet time with the Lord and i can tell. anything more and others can tell. 
and holy crap is that true. 

i have to really, really make time for the Lord these days. 
which as sad as that makes me. also makes me happy. 

because i don't think we're supposed to take a lackadaisical approach to our relationship with God. 

i was searching through the she reads truth app and found a series called, "Open Your Bible". 
lolz at God for that one. 

i of course started it. 

the other day this passage from 2 corinthians popped up and i was raising my hands "amening" the Lord. 

being a parent is hard and has me all full of weakness. not just the lack of sleep. but the lack of patience. the frustration when I just don't know what to do. the constant worrying. 

to be honest I haven't put spending time with God at the top of my priority list lately, and I think it's starting to show. this morning baby girl slept and kept on sleeping as I started to read the Word. I kept waiting for her to wake up but it was almost like God said, "nope it's just Me and you right now." 

I read the verse and gently felt the Lord tell me that all the weakness I have is ok. it's ok I have no idea what I'm doing, it's ok to loose it once in a while...as long as I know that He is made perfect. that He is the One in charge. grace is a beautiful thing and I see it more and more every day as a parent. I'm boasting about my weakness as a parent today because He is perfect.

(part of this post was taken from my instagram feed)